The Parts of Ourselves We Can't Bear to Look At

There are times when someone stirs something in us — irritation, judgment, even anger — and it feels so strong we’re sure it must be about them.

But often, it isn’t.

Often, what we’re really reacting to is a part of ourselves we’ve tucked away.

Maybe it was the confident voice that was once shut down. The sensitive child who cried too easily and was told to toughen up. The dreamer who wanted too much and was told it was silly. Those parts don’t disappear; they just wait in the shadows. And when we see them living freely in someone else, it hurts. Because it reminds us of what we’ve buried.

This is what Carl Jung called projection. It’s not that we truly hate the other person. What we can’t bear is the mirror they unknowingly hold up to us.

And here’s the gentle truth: the parts of you that you’ve condemned aren’t bad. They’re simply waiting to be welcomed back home. The arrogance you bristle at may be your own hidden confidence. The weakness you scorn may be your tenderness asking to breathe again.

Healing doesn’t come from pushing these pieces away. It comes from saying, softly: I see you. I know why you hid. You can come back now.

And sometimes, that recognition alone is enough to bring tears. Not because you’ve been wrong, but because you’ve finally come home to yourself.