Accept It or Not?

The very idea of acceptance can feel infuriating when we’re in pain. When we’re hurting, we want change, resolution, answers—not to simply “accept” what’s happening. To keep fighting can feel like holding on to hope. But often, that fight quietly feeds the very suffering we want to escape.

So what is radical acceptance?

Many misinterpret it as giving in, lowering expectations, or passively accepting an outcome they don’t want. In reality, radical acceptance is something else entirely—it’s about choosing not to pour endless energy into resisting what is. It’s about creating space for your body and nervous system to rest, which is the only environment where deep healing can truly occur.

When we fight against reality, our body responds as though it’s preparing for war—heart rate rises, muscles tense, stress hormones surge. This internal battleground doesn’t heal us; it leaves us exhausted and often with more wounds than before.

Radical acceptance is an act of self-compassion. It’s telling yourself, I deserve to stop hurting twice—once from what happened, and again from resisting it. It’s giving yourself permission to loosen the grip, to stop replaying the moment, to stop negotiating with the past. In that release, even if the pain remains, the suffering begins to lighten.

Acceptance doesn’t mean you approve of what happened—it means you are reclaiming the energy that’s been trapped in the fight. That reclaimed energy can be used for what matters now: restoring your health, nurturing your relationships, finding joy in small moments, and building something new from the ashes. That is not weakness—it is strength in its most transformative form.